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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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The neighborhoods? Oh man, there's Linnanlahti. It's quirky and kind of artsy. Rasters of graffiti and crazy cafes. Then there's the old town in Hämälä, buildings like memories, crumbling with stories. I've had epic dates there too. That's what she said!